How cool is this

Check this out. rebeleyeball.com is available in several different langauges. That's right, baby. Is that cool or what? Apparently, it is the "translate" function that is available on Google. I had no idea until today when I was looking at at my stats and I saw that one of my readers had translated my page into Italian. Since I cannot read or speak Italian, I had no idea if it was a decent translation. Curious to see how good Google translator is, I tried French which I can read (click the picture above for a larger image). Granted my French skills are a bit rusty, but it did appear to be a fairly accurate translation. The coolest thing is that the translator tool does it immediately and it loads as fast as the English page. I tell you it's freaky. Other than tweaking the url, I haven't figured out how to use the tool yet. I'll let you know as soon as I do so you can spend your evenings translating your blogs into Portugese.

Anyone wanna join Send Earnings

Okay, yeah so I am a shameless shill - you got a problem with that? Oh, you do - damn. I was hoping you'd let it slide. Actually, I was really hoping that you would click on the banner and join Send Earnings. I know it sounds stupid, but what the heck - they really do pay you just to open an email. How many junk emails do you get? What's a few more? Besides, the products they advertise aren't like Hoodia or the penis pills, they are for stuff that you might be currently shopping for. All I'm saying is that you should at least click the banner thingy and check it out. You can make a buck for every survey you take as well. Additionally, they give you more money if you take advantage of any of the cash offers. I have been doing this for about 2 weeks and I have earned $10. But like anything else, the real dough is in the referal network. That's the real reason I am whoring out my so-called "artsy" blog. Some of you are shaking your heads and saying "Oh, rebel say it ain't so". Well, it is okay. Although I have been posing as a writer wannabe, I am actually an internet MLM hound just out to build my downline. So if you wanna hit the big time with me, just click on the button. Hell, this has gotta work better than the lame solictation for you to send emails to David Lettermen to get me on his show. Doesn't it?

Getting back in shape

Yes, it's true. I have been getting back to running. Finally, I tackled the arduous task of repairing my treadmill. It took me nearly fifteen minutes, but it was well worth the effort. Additionally, I have been scaring the crap out of people at the gym once again. If you have no idea what I am talking about, then you haven't been reading my stuff. In the past, I would point you to it. But my thought now is "Hey, you missed it. You wanna read, you search the archives and find it." Back to treadmills. I have been hitting the gym first thing every Saturday morning. I run my five miles, in 45 minutes or less. Hey, it's going to take me a couple months to get back to the 7 1/2 minute miles, all right. Anyway, then I go sit in the steam room, take a shower and I am ready for a full fun day off. In my gym, they actually have a sign that says "Do Not Shave in the Steam Room". Can you freaking believe that? If you have ever shaved in the steam room, you will agree with me that is one of life's greatest pleasures. You get the absolute closest shave possible and it is virtually impossible to cut yourself AND it doesn't irritate your skin. Putting up a sign like that is just ridiculous as if anyone - especially me - is going to pay any attention to it. Seriously, it's like putting up a sign that says "Do Not Pee in the Shower".

Wolf Blitzer is a big fat pussy

And so are all the other so called "journalist" on the idiot box. Seriously, what is up with these people? This evening I heard an excerpt of Wolfie's so-called interview with Dick Cheney on NPR. The last statement that Mr. VP made was that the world is much safer since the US ousted Sadaam Hussien. Care to guess Mr. Blitzer’s response. It went something like this “uuhhh….” How difficult is it to say something like, “That’s a pretty bold statement Mr. Vice President. Would you care to point to one single piece of empirical evidence that supports that statement? Can you provide us with one single, solitary objective measure that you used to quantify that claim? How exactly did you measure the “safeness” of the world prior to March 2003? What data have you gathered that shows that this “safeness” index has increased? Come on, I’m not asking for much. Just one. One stinking measly minute spec of evidence to support that.” I’m sure if someone actually had enough gumption to actually ask him questions like that, he would simply say “Well, common sense would tell you …” or “It’s just obvious …” bullshit, Bullshit, BULLSHIT! When he was the CEO of a corporation, he had to supply his investors with commonly accepted measures of the performance of his company every quarter. If the measures met or beat expectations, he got his bonus. If they didn’t, he still got a bonus. But it was a little smaller. If he went to his board or his stockholders and said, “This year was much better than last year.” They would say, “Prove it”. Why do we settle for anything less? Why do “journalists” settle for anything less. How can that be an answer to a question? Nebulous statements like “We are winning in Iraq” and “The media only focuses on the negative” and “Real progress is being made” are the reason we are stuck in Iraq with no good way out. No one challenged these statements. In fact, no one in the administration has ever compiled a list of all the “positive” things that have occurred in Iraq since the “liberation”. If they could, any and every media outlet would publicize it – especially FOX News. When have you ever seen any type of show that had cameras and reporters walking around in ANY town in Iraq and showing all the new schools, hospitals, dams, bridges, electrical generation and water purification plants? If anyone did that, don’t you think it would be on every single newscast on every station? Point is, we want you to show us the proof of all the great things that have been happening and all the signs that “the world is a safer place” instead of floating these unsupportable air biscuits to placate the media bone heads that are supposed to be informing us. Technorati Tags: Politics, Media, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Politics, Media, rebeleyeball

Politics, eyeballs and traffic, oh my

Are you bored yet? Tired of the same ole, same ole on www.rebeleyeball.com? Okay, maybe I am exaggerating a bit. Occasionally, I have come through with a humorous anecdote from my days as the King of Karaoke or a long maudlin tome about my proud heritage. I have even slipped in a few dream sequences. And who could ever forget my endeavor to come across as a paranoid conspiracy theorist? Hey, wait a minute. That all sounds pretty interesting. Maybe I am as good as I think I am. Really, you think that’s immodest of me? Well, you point me to one other blog where you get such an entertaining variety of crazy ass stories as you do right here. Just try, I beg you because I’d love to read it. I tell you, it’s rough being so wonderfully talented. A little over the top? Sure, but what the hell else am I going to write about tonight? Everyone knows exactly how I feel about the war in Iraq. Funny how all the talking heads are now suddenly yapping about the war the way I wrote about it right here almost a year ago. Maybe they are all the hits I have been getting from Herdon, VA and Washington, DC. Who knew I would be influencing our elected leaders. If I chose to write about eyeballs again, there is a slight chance that people may start to think I am a little odd. Definitely wouldn’t want that to happen. It would just be terrible if I gained a reputation of being offbeat. But the real danger is that if I write one more post whining about traffic, someone may actually puke. Vomit is so messy. I would feel bad if I elicited that type of reaction. Instead, I chose to inflict this little gem upon you as if anyone continued reading this far …

A little on the EYEBALL clan

As promised, here is a little information about the eyeball clan. The first thing that needs to be said is none of the members are actually related by blood. Although at times, it seems that we are much closer than relatives. In an earlier post, I described the origin of the Eyeball. The fact is, by the time the eyeball entered our lives we were already linked for life. Mr. Eyeball, an educator, met Analytical Eyeball in college in the late eighties. I met the Eyeball Queen in college as well, but it was considerably earlier. As fate would have it, all of our paths crossed in May of 1991. Since that time, we have become what we are today - a weird little clan. I know, a little short on details. But you know me, I never really get specific about anything. So to make it up to you, I'll give you a couple of specific weird coincidences: First, I was helping Mr. Eyeball move and I saw his high school year book. Instantly, I recognized the name of the school since it was right by the restaurant I was managing in 1987. Each time we passed each other, I would ask him if he knew someone that went to his high school and he would respond, "Yeah, I know him/her". After the forth time I asked him, he stopped, gave me a puzzled look and asked why I kept asking him about people from his school. My response? They all worked for me at my restaurant. But I never met him. Second, when I went back to school for Master Degree I worked as a delivery driver. Just so happens that I delivered pizza to Eyeball Mama's parents house. But she was never there when I delivered. Analytical Eyeball and I worked in the exact same restaurant. But not at the same time. Not too weird unless you consider this. He got hired the week after I left because I got promoted to manage a different restaurant and quit a week before I returned to deliver pizza's to Eyeball Mama's parents house. Coincidences ... or just another day in the life of an eyeball?

Best laid plans

Like many best laid plans, my idea for how I was going to spend the evening went awry (How many opportunities have you had to work the word "awry" into a sentence? Am I good or what?). This evening I was going to enlighten you as to the identities of the rest of the Eyeball Clan, Mr. Eyeball, Eyeball Mama, Analytical Eyeball, Chatty Eyeball and, of course, the Eyeball Queen. Instead, I fell asleep. Don't you find it a touch ironic that just a few weeks ago I posted an entry about falling asleep while I was typing, then tonight I actually did fall asleep? Where’s the irony, you ask? When I wrote the post on “dream blogging”, I didn't fall asleep. What can I say? I am a "fiction writer" which happens to be a euphemism for "liar". Once again, you find that you visited the site expected to see one of my brilliant and highly entertaining posts only to be greeted by another stream of drivel about falling asleep – yawn. All I can say is, tough crunchies. If you’re very lucky, the next time you stop by you may be treated to a riveting post about the genealogy of the Eyeball Clan. Trust me, it is very interesting. No really, it is. Oh all right, if you want to get all technical about it, the story is very interesting to me.

Have you noticed

Lately, I have been putting a great deal of time into improving my template. Really, I am still writing. Eventually, I may even post a new chapter to "I'm Nuts". I have been thinking about it and I think I am pretty close to going off on a writing tear. If you have checked in the past few days, you may have noticed that the template keeps changing. It's infuriating that everytime I think I am done, I find something that just isn't right. Obsessive tweeking is the sign of a truly warped mind. It's unbelievable how many times I changed the pixel value on different borders only to switch it back to the previous. Then, of course, I would add it back just to make sure which one I like better. Talk about a time drainer. I think I just may be done for a while. In my humble opinion, I think the new template looks pretty good. Why don't you let me know what you think.

I want to throw a blog party

To celebrate my liberation. I am no longer tied down by that ugly looking "blogspot" in the middle of my url. Check out the location bar on your browser. See it? See what I am talking about? That's right fellow bloggists, I am a real live rebel. Let me welcome one and all to the brand-spanking new www.rebeleyeball.com. Many of you may be amazed that I actually got around to purchasing the domain name that I have coveted for years. Even more of you are shocked that I actually opened my wallet and sprang for the $7.95/year for 3 years. But there you have it, I have my very own domain name and I plan on keeping it for a very long time. I have many plans for www.rebeleyeball.com, it'll be interesting to see if I actually follow through on any of them. And no, I am not taking any side bets on which ones I carry out and which ones remain locked in my twisted little mind never to see the light of day. Oh, and one last thing - either buy my book or click on a link for crying out loud. Y'all really that flat-ass broke that you can shell out for a sensational thriller like Web Site. Oops was that out loud? Hope I didn't offend anyone by typing exactly what I was thinking that very second. Oh, well. If I did, bite me...I mean...I am truly sorry. Technorati Tags: Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: rebeleyeball

I feel like bitching

It's been a really long time since I bitched about traffic, so here we go. Well on second thought, you really don't want to hear about it. Same old song and dance. You know, I tried this and got a few more readers, I tried that and added a couple of more. Anyway, enough of that garbage. Is there anything else I can bitch about. Not really. It's kinda tough to bitch when you have a great life. Actually, it really easy to bitch. To me, it is one of the great wonders of human beings. No matter how good things are going in your life, you can and will find SOMETHING to bitch about. What's that you say? Not you? Oh, really? Well, you're full of shit. How can I say that? It's simple, I have talked to people before. Prove it? Okay, what do you say when some one asks you "How you doing?" I bet that 90% of the time, the best you can come up with "I'm okay." That's it, "I'm okay." In fact, you can't handle it if some one says, "I'm great" or "I'm fantastic". How do I know that? Because that is what I say to people and they always give me a strange look and say "Oh, really? You're great? Why is that?" There you have it. My stupid observation on life for today. Maybe next time, I'll post something remotely interesting. Until then, I'll just be sitting here feeling great. Technorati Tags: Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: rebeleyeball

Yeah, I watched

Once again, I am just stunned. Even though I knew exactly what the Prez was going to say, I am still very disheartened. As you know, I have been against the war before it started and I think we need to get out now. Funny thing, I use to have a blog called "Left Over Right" where I posted my more political thoughts. I ended it almost six months ago because I didn't have time to deal with trolls. Some of the stuff I put out there in April is still pretty fresh today. In light of the Prez's speech, I thought I'd replay it for you. It's called "With Open Eyes". "With Open Eyes" If you read my other blogs, you may know that I wrote a novel called Web Site (formerly known as Progressing Rapidly Over Uneven Terrain). It is a very graphic look at the characters that are involved with a pornographic web site. When I tell people about the book, they eventually get around to asking me why it is so sexually graphic. My explanation is that you cannot understand something unless you look at it - really look at it. You have to see something for what it really is. Therefore, when the people at the web site have sex, I describe it in full detail. I also try to contrast it with sex that people have in other situations. Some times it is uncomfortable to look at, but once again you have to see (or read) it to believe it. My belief is that this is true with everything. In order for us to believe things our government tells us, we have to see it in all of its ugliness. For example, we need to see the images from Abu Ghraib to understand what is happening. The same is true for Guantanamo Bay. We have never seen the inside of that place. We have no idea what happens there or who it happens to. How can we allow the government to take action in our name without our specific approval? Continuing on the theme, it is a tradegy that all news footage from Iraq and Afghanistan are filtered by the US Department of Defense. Even if some footage gets through, the networks in the US are reluctant to air in fear of reprisal from the White House. Again, how can we make informed decisions about whether or not we are doing the right thing? How can we exercise our will if we don't have any information? They tell us to trust them. They say we need to stay the course. How can we know what to do? Show us what us what is going on, then we can decide if we should continue. Maybe we are doing the right thing and fighting a world-wide terroist threat. Or maybe, we are fighting a war to support multi-national corporations. Point is, we don't have any information. Lastly, a huge issue that gets absolutely no attention is the fact that no one is allowed to take images of coffins of fallen soldiers returning from overseas. This is an outrage. We have to be reminded on a daily basis what this "War on Terror" is costing us for two reasons. First, so that the families of the fallen know that we feel their sacrifice. Second, to remind us of the cost, so when we are asked to give we know what we are giving. Coffins are real tangible evidence. If we continue to allow these men and women to return in a shadowy cloak of darkness then we forget. We know war is ugly. They say war is necessary. Let us see the information and let us decide. We deserve the truth. We can handle the truth. Show us the truth. ... and once again, the man is asking us to trust him. Are we going to fall for it again? Technorati Tags: Politics, Congress, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Politics, Congress, rebeleyeball

Cha-cha-changes

"Turn and face the strain, cha-cha-changes ... " Has anyone noticed? I bet you have. Personally, I like the new template. But I also decided I'd go ahead whore myself out. Yeah, that's right. I have no shame. Now I am an affiliate for Amazon.com and Fictionwise.com. Is it okay if I think that both the companies are reputable and as decent as companies can be? Does that make me less of a sellout? Know what, don't answer those questions because I really don't care. I decided to put there ugly looking logos on my site, now it's up to you to click on them. Is that too much to ask, really? Say you are planning on making a purchase online, why not just come to my page first? Two extra clicks and I get my little piece of the action. No big deal and you are helping me. It's not easy beng a soldier/consumer nowadays. I mean we are expected to buy so much to keep our economy going, it's tough to do without a little extra. Not that I am asking you to feel sorry for me or anything, but do you realize that I don't even have an HDD TV yet? Not only that, but I still have the free cell phone I got with my service contract. No Blackberry, no Treo, not even a digital camera on board. For crying out loud, I have less that a GIG of memory on my laptop! If you click on my logos a few time a day, I'll have plenty of cash on hand to get my new Hummer and put gas in it. I know that you, may readers, will come through. In fact, I have already cleared a place for my new Sharp 108 inch LCD HDD TV. Addionally, I have my eye on a Playstation 3 and plenty of games to go with it. So some on, give me a few clicks wouldya? Technorati Tags: Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: rebeleyeball

Fictionwise

Among all the changes I made lately, you may have noticed the new link to Fictionwise. If you are into fiction, this is the site for you. They specialize in providing previously published works of fiction as ebooks. Follow the link and check out the site, I think you'll really like it. Any comments on the new look of the blog. I know, another blogger template, but at least this one has a little of my personality. There are some really cool looking blogs out there and I actually to have the skills to create a much better looking template. But to tell the truth, I really don't have that kind of time right now. Anyway, my hope is that the writing is what keeps you coming back. Maybe a few more people will stick around since it looks a little better. As you all know, all it takes if for you to read one of my riveting posts and you are absolutely hooked on the ole writer wannabe. Come on now, admit it. This blog is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning and the last thing before you fall asleep at night. As a matter of fact, there are a few of you that dream about my wonderful creations from time to time. I know how traumatic the past few months must have been for all of you with my infrequent posts. It has become very apparent that a few of you need the daily dose of the rebeleyeball. So, I will do my best to post more frequently. One thing all of you know is that I take my obiligation to entertain you very seriously. The only reason I maintain this blog is for you. Cheers to you my faithful readers. I only hope that I can continue to come up with the type of witty, urbane and flat out humorous stories to enrich your lives with quality writing. Technorati Tags: Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: rebeleyeball

Another picture

I realize I haven't been writing much on the blog lately. Maybe I will this weekend. In the mean time, I hope you enjoy another picture from my trip to California. Technorati Tags: Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: rebeleyeball

I like this picture

Ah, nothing like Christmas at the beach. Okay, so it was three days before Christmas, but it was still very, very cool. We took this picture on our drive down Highway 101 in California. It was a great drive. If you are lucky, maybe I'll post a few of the pictures from the Redwoods National Park. Technorati Tags: Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: rebeleyeball

I have been fired

Unfortunately, I have been fired from a couple of jobs in my life. Once, it was completely my fault. The other time, it was a very weird situation which I still haven't really figured out and it happened over fifteen years ago. It isn't the most flattering thing in the world to post a blog pointing out my deficiencies, but bear with me. I think I have a point and I promise it’s coming up. In both cases, I was able to survive, find another job and move on with my life. Not that it was easy. After all, I am human and I do have some feelings. Getting fired is definitely a blow to the ego, but once you get up, brush off the dirt and give yourself a pep talk and get to getting going. One of the reasons I was able to get over these events was my parents taught me about personal responsibility. In the first case, I took a job that I was not a very fit. Turns out, I wasn’t very good at it either. When I got fired, I accepted it my decision to seek the job, my decision to accept the job and my lack of skill that got me canned. Even though I don’t think I should have been fired from the second job, I still take responsibility for losing my job. Seems to me that everything I just said about myself is true for President George Bush. Not only did he do everything he could to get his current job, he accepted it over the objection of many of us. Obviously, he is not a very good fit for the position and he does not possess the skills to perform the basic functions of the job. It’s time that we, his boss, call him into our office and give him the boot. Please, do not try to defend him by saying he is doing what he believes is best for the country. Even if that is true, which is questionable in my opinion, it just doesn’t matter. See, in each of our jobs, we are expected to deliver. If we don’t, we’re done – period. Same should be true of the people we elect to represent us. Technorati Tags: Politics, Congress, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Politics, Congress, rebeleyeball