The origin of the EYEBALL

I can barely remember a time that I wasn't eyeball. But lately, I have been thinking about it quite a bit and I decided to let you all in on how I became an eyeball. While I was working on my Master Degree, I waited tables at a "Black-eyed Pea" in Lakewood, CO. Although I can't say I would ever wait tables again, I did enjoy my tenure at the good ole "Pea". I met my best friends there. People that I remain in constant contact with even though I have moved a thousand miles away. In fact, they are the key to this story. Even after I sprung myself from the shackles of waiting tables by getting a job in my field of study, we still carried on some of the old traditions such as meeting at Appleby's on Friday nights for drinks. One Friday, I arrived and poured myself a beer from the pitcher and began engaging in the wacking banter that those ever exposed to life in a restaurant would be very familiar. As I picked up my glass for my third or fourth drink, I found myself eye to eyeball with a small plastic eyeball floating in my beer. The look on my face must have been priceless because all fifteen of the other's at the table burst out laughing. Seems they had all been vicitimized in the same manner upon arriving. As things tend to do, this continued throughout the night as other's joined. But it also became very much like a game of spoons. Everyone eyeballed, then got the chance to eyeball some one else. It became a very competitive game with several stageies. There were the sly "slipins", the "team efforts", the "quick he's looking at the waitress", the ever popular "she went to the bathroom" and, of course, more than the fair share of the clumsy "how could you possibly think you could get away with thats". All in all, it was a pretty fun night. But that by itself was not intriguing enough to explain how this grew from a simple game to a compulsion to a complete obsession. No, that happened the very next day. Upon waking right around the crack of noon, I dragged my hungover ass downstairs and put on a pot of coffee. While waiting for the pot to brew, I strolled out to the mailbox. I was happy to see that I received my new "PC Computing" magazine. Returning to the house, I poured a cup and sat down at the table to open the black plastic covering that protected my periodical from any postal mishaps. As I peeled back the thin coated, I was greeted by a picture of the exact eyeball that now serves as my profile image. I was so stunned, I spit my mouthful of coffee all over the cover. The next thing I did after I clean the dark liquid from my new mag, the table, the floor and my poor cat was to call my friends that had played the game the night before. One friend suggested we go eyeball shopping. That day we each came home with five new eyeballs. From that, it grew and grew. We saw eyeballs everywhere. We had t-shirts made. I even dressed as an eyeball one holloween. Over the years, the obsession has faded. But once an eyeball, always an eyeball. Some day, I may be inclined to tell you how I became the rebeleyeball. But not today. I've already revealed more than most can handle in any one sitting. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

Opinions change

Previously, I have written that I think Myspace is pretty weird. Although I still think it's strange, I have come to embrace it's weirdness. In fact, I have started gather friends there. There is something very interesting about my friend list, maybe you should go check out my profile and see if you can see the connection. As a blogging place, my space pretty much sucks. But I have found it pretty entertaining to see how many people are there. Additionally, you see quite a wide variety of outlets for creativity. Some of it is great and some is really bad and there is everything in between. Anyway, it's has seemed to have grown on me. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

Am I pathetic or what

As you have seen, I have been shamelessly been pimping my book. Not a big deal. Everyone tries to market, right? I, of course, had to take it a step farther. But instead of just writing Neil Young another email that he will never read, I asked him to read my book. What a flake I am. Well, it's all your fault you know. You keep pushing me to be weird. So there you have it. A completely stupid, never to be acknowedged gesture on my part. A tiny blip of bytes sent electronically to an email box that will either never be read or if it is, it will be done by the staffer assigned to read the emails in Neil's myspace account. For your entertainment, here is the copy: Hey Neil, I know you probably have much better things to do than to read your my space email. But I decided to try to write you on the off chance you might actually see this. Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be a writer. A couple of years ago, I sat down and wrote my first novel Web Site. It was an long process, but I had company. In fact, you and Led Zeppelin were with me throughout the process. Not blowing smoke, I really enjoy listening to your music when I write. So, what's my point? Well, I want to ask you a favor. Since you are on the road right now, I am sure you could use some reading material. I would be honored if you would consider adding my book to your reading list. Thanks and I hope that the tour is going well. Regards, Paul Gavin I'll let you know as soon as he responds. Don't hold your breath. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

The 43-year old writer wannabe

Recently, I slashed the price of Web Site to $14.95. As you know, that is a bargain for a first novel of such fine quality. Unfortunately, the sales have not resulted in launching the book into Lulu's top 100 for the Week which was my goal for the sale. I wanted to get there this week. Since I just became the 43 year-old writer wannabe, why don't all of you go out and get me a nice birthday present? Go to Web Site and buy your very own keepsake of my brilliant rookie novel. Come on, what do you have to lose? Trust me, it's a very entertaining book. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get disgusted and be pissed off at some of the characters. But you will not be bored. See for yourself, check out the preview at Progressing Rapidly Over Uneven Terrain. And yes, I am now the 43 year-old writer wannabe. On Saturday, Father Time paid me a little visit. Ah, how I love the first day of fall. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

First thing on my mind

Since I can't get cable at my house, I have Dish Network. They are running the most ridiculus commercial I have ever seen. It shows houses destroyed by Hurricane Wilma. The voice over is a woman saying how isolating it is to be without television when a hurricane blows the roof off your house. But never fear, Dish Network was there the very next day to get her hooked up. Fan-freaking-tastic, now whe would be able to sit in the comfort of her own living room under the stars. But she wouldn't miss a second of American Idol. Wonder how long it took the roofers to show up. Not making fun of her, if she actually is a person. But holy crap, how about some perspective? Is television all that important? Apparently, it is. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

Update on Projects

If you have been reading this blog for awhile, you know it started as my novel-in-progress The Break. Necomers may not be aware that I finished blogging the story and I am now readying in for publication. If you are interested, all of the chapters are located at The Break. Take a look at it. Until I publish it, you'll just have to be contented ready my meanderings. But hey, that's not half bad being that I am the best darn blogger you've ever read. Well, a close 437th anyway. Actually, I am torn between three new projects. There is the fictionalized story of my life. Like I really need to call it fiction. Once you read it, you'll have no idea what parts are based on the truth and which are merely inventions of my twisted mind. Then there is my weird idea called "The Soul Factory" which is a pretty trippy take on spirituality. It is a favorite idea of mine, but it fairly ambious. Think I'll save that one for a while. Then there is Snow in March. I started it as a set of short stories and posted it at Snow in March. But I think it there is much more of a story there, I just haven't figured it out. Since I already have the preview of this available on a blog, I think I'll leave that as it is for now. Next week, I start posting "It's Just My Life". Stop by and check it out. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

Filthy, stinking habits

No doubt about it, I need a way back machine. How much better could things be if you could simply go back in time and rearrange a few of those little events that seem to have a ripple effect through your life? Could you possibly change those things or would your life be like Kurt Vonnegut described in "Timequake"? If you haven't read the novel, you should. In my opinion, it is one of his best works. Not to ruin the book, but he describes a timequake in which the entire world skips back ten years and everyone has to relive all of the events of the last ten years over again. They were conscious of everything, but they didn't have the power to change a thing. It's a frightful thought, isn't it? But isn't that what most of us do anyway? Trapped by our habits, desperately trying to do something to change. But most of us are unable to keep from repeating the same mistakes over and over ad nauseum. Before you go protesting the statement, take a moment to reflect on all the things you do and look for the patterns. I bet they are there. Some are good, some not so good. Any thing you would like to change? Anything you can change? Can you? Really? Come on don't lie to me. More importantly, don't lie to yourself. How many times have you said something like "I'm never going to drink again"? Or "I am not going to yell at my kids any more"? Or "I am going to keep up on the laundry"? How many diets have you suffered through only to gain the weight back? How many unfinished projects are there laying around your house? How many new jobs have you taken saying "This one is going to be different"? Habits are a mother. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

Welcome first time visitors

I started off my day by checking to see how many visitors I had in the last day. All I can do is to quote Ghandi "HOLY COW!". It seems the folks at IT2M reviewed my site today. Not a great review, but okay. At least I didn't get bitch-slapped or nuked. Apparently, they have some clout and they have sent quite a few people my way. Welcome to all. Although the site navigation makes sense to my warped brain, most of the feedback I received was that the "Archives" link on the side bar points to my other blogs. I can see how this could be confusing. Techinally, they are other blogs. But the contain all the stuff that I previously posted on this blog. The Rebeleyeball Links is like a table of contents for all of my posts. Of course, it doesn't have a summary of each of the postings which can be a drag as well. What can I say, I'm freaking lazy. The Break link takes you directly to all of the chapters of my novel-in-progress that first debuted on this blog. I put them there so my readers could enjoy my book without having to read my daily drivel. I mean, my extrememly entertaining blog. Additionally, I have a blog that is a preview of my first novel Web Site. As my regular readers know from one of my previous posts, I did contract a professional web designer to develop a more robust web site. Unfortunately, he seems to be the only peron in the world that is lazier than me. Not an excuse, just a fact. Regardless, things here aren't as organized as they could be. I feel like a bunch of people showed up at my house and I was still in my bathrobe vacuuming the living room. Truly, the reviewers at IT2M have an excellent following and I am very appreciative that they took the time to review my blog. One thing I take exception to is that a few people referred to my blog as "dry"? DRY? Moi? Hell, no. But okay, whatever. Subtle humor is lost on some. Anyway, my warmest welcome to all newcomers. I hope you can see past the mess that is Misadventures of a 42 year-old writer wannabe and enjoy your stay. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

Here's a little story

One evening about ten years ago I was standing outside a dance club, yes I love to dance, chatting to my friends before calling it a night. Out of the blue, I hear this voice. "Hey, you wanna step away from the car?" I look behind me and see that I am standing about a foot away from a Corvette. Being the nice guy I am, I take a step forward. It all could have ended right there. But, noooooo. Me, being me, I had to say something. "Ya know." I said in my patented sarcastic voice. "If you're that worried about it, you might not want to park it on the street." Instantly, there were seven guys standing in front of me with the Corvette owner screaming in my face. Although I am not a small man, seven on three (I was talking to two friends) is not good odds. Additionally, I knew that only one of the guys I was with was a solid back up. Even with the seven guys in fornt of me, I could see me "friend" looking for the best path to beat a hasty retreat once the shit hit the fan. As you know, I am more of a cerebral kind of a guy. I am really not interested in fighting anyone. However, I have been know to voice my moral indignation when confronted with complete assholes. As much as I was trying to extricate myself from the situation, I was equally exacerbating the situation with my sharp tongue and biting humor. Basically, it looked like I was in for a primetime ass-whoopin' in front of a crowd of about thirty people that had gathered to watch the impending fracas. Out of no where, a cop appears. "Okay, Josh." He says to Mr. Corvette Owner. "Break it up." Happy that the police finally arrive, I heaved a sigh of relief. The next words out of the cop's mouth nearly floored me. "You three get out of here before I haul you in." "Are you kidding me?" I asked indignantly. "Rebel, let's go." Solid backup friend said to me. Relenting, I decided at this point that since I just escaped getting pummeled b a bunch of thugs, the last thing I wanted was to become the next victim of police brutality. As we started walking away, the cop kept talking. "I mean the guy does own a Corvette." Before I had a chance to go off on the cop, one of the female bystanders shouted out. "The only reason he has a Corvette is because he has a small penis." The crowd roared out in laughter. It was one of those priceless moments worthy of a Visa commercial. The look on Josh's face was a real Kodak moment. I won't bore you wth the additional details. But suffice it to say, I made it home completely intact nd in very good humor. The only thing that happened was that I got a great story to tell over and over and over and over ... More stories from Paul Gavin. Info on novels Paul Gavin's Storefront. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

Who do you think you are

Do you ever sit around and think about who you really are? What criteria do you use to determine if you actually are the person you think you are? How can you ever know? Is it what is inside you? Is it an accumulation of what other people think about you? Is it a sum of all of our actions throughout life? Or is it our thoughts that make up who we are? Do you care? These are some pretty intense questions to ask yourself. I would be willing to bet that most people don't give this a second thought. It seems the only timw anyone would ask these questions of themselves is during some critical juncture in their lives. Such as when they are about to get married, separated, divorced, dating again, having a loved one reveal a serious illness or someone dies. Is it ever worth performing this kind of self-examination? Why bother, right? I cannot disagree more. If we don't know who we really are, how can we possible live the type of life we wish to live? Socrates said "an unexamined life is not worth living". Personally, I agree with this statement. But what are the criteria to use for this self-examination? A battery of personality tests? A survey of all the people in our lives? A rote listing of everything we have ever done? Give it some thought, would ya? More stories from Paul Gavin. Info on novels Paul Gavin's Storefront. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

Dude, I got a Dell

That's right, I finally got a new laptop to replace Ole Blue. Ole Blue was a piece of shit Toshiba laptop with no balls and a shitty keyboard. Don't get me wrong, Ole Blue served a purpose, I used it for almost two years. I bought it because it cost $599. Have I mentioned, I am a cheap bastard? I'm sure I have. Sometimes that's a good thing, but in this case I should have followed my instincts. After working on a Dell laptop for five years, I had grown accustomed to the feel of Dell keyboards. When I left my job, I had to leave my beloved laptop behind. When I was looking for a laptop to replace my company supplied unit, I looked at Dell's first, but the cheapest I could find was over $1,000. Not in my price range. Did I happen to tell you that I am a cheap bastard. So, I settled in on Ole Blue. It turned out to be functional, but not enjoyable. I made it work for a long time. In fact, most of this blog was written on Ole Blue. But now, I have a brand spanking new (used) Dell laptop. This baby is so hot, I tell ya. The keys are all in the right place. My fingers are gracefully stroking the keyboard. The words are all coming out in the right order. As obnoxious as that Dell guy was, I still feel like ... like ... I'm home again. More stories from Paul Gavin. Info on novels Paul Gavin's Storefront. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

The next big thing

I think I have stumbled upon what could be the next huge thing to hit the music scene - Reggae Metal. That's right, Guns and Roses meets Ziggy Marley. Go ahead, laugh. People laughed at Rap Metal, but look at the success of bands like Lincoln Park, Limp Bisket and to a lesser extent, Red Hot Chili Peppers. Since they play a wide variety of music. Whereas, Rap and Metal are two distinct types of music that have very different audiences, they share anger and a dislike for authority. Even though many Reggae songs question authority, it does so in a much more mellow manner. Now think how cool it would be if you could inject the anger of Metal music into the grooving Reggae beats. Or couple the sweet sounding lyrics of Reggae with the anger guitar licks of hardcore metal. The juxaposition of these two sounds would be incredible if done correctly. I wonder how long it will be until a new band hits the scene with the power and groove to shake up the music industry. This is going to be bigger than grunge, I tell ya. Just wait. Even if it isn't Reggae Metal, I feel that there is something coming really soon to help us forget about the Brittany Spears and Christina Aguilars of the world. I, for one, am eagerly anticipating it's arrival. More stories from Paul Gavin. Info on novels Paul Gavin's Storefront. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

It's official

To all of you that thought I was a big whiner when I complained about my toe hurting, guess what? Far from showing signs of aging, I actually broke my toe six months ago. All it took was a visit to the podiatrist and a few very uncomfortable x-rays to prove that I am not a wimp, I really do have something wrong with my toe. On orders from my doctor, I will not be running for between a couple of weeks to several months. Did you just hear that? It sounded like a collective sigh of relief. Could it be from all of the treadmills at my gym, happy that they have received a reprieve from the pounding they have been taken from a 230 pound man running at 7.5 - 8 miles an hour? Or maybe it was from my fellow treadmillers that won't have to suffer from the shower of sweat flying from my forehead that completely soaks them in the salty fluid which freely flows from my pores? Regardless, both the treadmills and my fellow runners are safe for the time being. All I can say is: Look out pool, here comes a mound of flesh to displace vast quantities of over-chlorinated water. Here's to itchy skin and smelly hair. To the pool, to the pool, to the pool. More stories from Paul Gavin. Info on novels Paul Gavin's Storefront. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball

What a weekend

I am sorry to see the end of the summer upon us. But we did have a great summer that was capped off by an outstanding weekend. Every year Labor Day brings Paul Bunyen Days to St. Maries Idaho. St. Maries is a logging town located on the southern end of Lake Couer d'Alene. Each year the residents celebrate the end of the summer with a carnival. The highlight of which is one of the most amazing fireworks displays I have ever seen. Before you go laughing hysterically, this sleeply little town certainly knows it's fireworks. This year's display rivaled the amazing display put on in Denver on New Year's Eve of 2000 which happened to be designed by the same man that designed the Paris fireworks for New Year's Eve 1999. Pretty good credentials I'd say. Anyway, hope all of you had as much fun this summer as I did. Now I am ready for the long nghts and the cold weather. Come on winter, bring it on! More stories from Paul Gavin. Info on novels Paul Gavin's Storefront. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball