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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Here's a little story

One evening about ten years ago I was standing outside a dance club, yes I love to dance, chatting to my friends before calling it a night. Out of the blue, I hear this voice.

"Hey, you wanna step away from the car?"

I look behind me and see that I am standing about a foot away from a Corvette. Being the nice guy I am, I take a step forward. It all could have ended right there. But, noooooo. Me, being me, I had to say something.

"Ya know." I said in my patented sarcastic voice. "If you're that worried about it, you might not want to park it on the street."

Instantly, there were seven guys standing in front of me with the Corvette owner screaming in my face. Although I am not a small man, seven on three (I was talking to two friends) is not good odds. Additionally, I knew that only one of the guys I was with was a solid back up. Even with the seven guys in fornt of me, I could see me "friend" looking for the best path to beat a hasty retreat once the shit hit the fan.

As you know, I am more of a cerebral kind of a guy. I am really not interested in fighting anyone. However, I have been know to voice my moral indignation when confronted with complete assholes. As much as I was trying to extricate myself from the situation, I was equally exacerbating the situation with my sharp tongue and biting humor. Basically, it looked like I was in for a primetime ass-whoopin' in front of a crowd of about thirty people that had gathered to watch the impending fracas.

Out of no where, a cop appears.

"Okay, Josh." He says to Mr. Corvette Owner. "Break it up."

Happy that the police finally arrive, I heaved a sigh of relief. The next words out of the cop's mouth nearly floored me.

"You three get out of here before I haul you in."

"Are you kidding me?" I asked indignantly.

"Rebel, let's go." Solid backup friend said to me.

Relenting, I decided at this point that since I just escaped getting pummeled b a bunch of thugs, the last thing I wanted was to become the next victim of police brutality. As we started walking away, the cop kept talking.

"I mean the guy does own a Corvette."

Before I had a chance to go off on the cop, one of the female bystanders shouted out.

"The only reason he has a Corvette is because he has a small penis."

The crowd roared out in laughter. It was one of those priceless moments worthy of a Visa commercial. The look on Josh's face was a real Kodak moment. I won't bore you wth the additional details. But suffice it to say, I made it home completely intact nd in very good humor. The only thing that happened was that I got a great story to tell over and over and over and over ...


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Comments on "Here's a little story"

 

Blogger Ananke said ... (5:04 PM) : 

Hahaha, that is hilarious because my new boss owns a Corvette that he absolutely worships. He won't even drive it in the friggin' rain. I think the girl in the crowd was right. LOL!!!!

 

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