The Break - Chapter 17

Chapter 17 The bus was completely silent. The four men stood completely still, utterly dumbfounded. No one knew what to say or do. They began to fidget uncomfortably. No one wanted to be the first to speak. It was almost getting comical. “So you two packing the fudge or what?” Pete asked as he looked at Ass and then at Ben. Involuntarily, everyone burst out laughing. True to form, Pete dropped the bomb that cut through the tension. “Ah, dude” Ronnie said shaking his head. “Immediately nuclear?” “Well shit, dude.” Pete started to defend himself. “It’s cool.” Ass said. “I know how weird that sounded.” Once again, the silent tension was palatable. “Quick, some one say something before I drop the second bomb.” Pete said. They all laughed again. “So…uh…how long…I mean…are you guys…” Ronnie tried. But nothing would come out. It was perhaps the most awkward moment of his life. Then he blurted it out. “Packing the fudge or what?” There was an instant of shocked disbelief followed by uncontrollable roars of laugher. It was one of those moments when laughter was the only solution. The complete shock of the situation had stunned everyone. They had needed something to get them past the uncomfortable situation. On some level, they expected Pete to come up with a wisecrack. But the unexpected repetition of Pete’s crude remark from Ronnie was so unexpected that it completely snapped everyone back to life. “Sorry, dudes.” Ronnie said apologetically when he regained composure. “I just really don’t know what to do in a situation like this.” “It’s cool.” Ass said comfortingly. “I guess I didn’t either. Just kinda threw it out there.” “So you wanna talk about it?” Ronnie asked. “Not really.” Ass said. “But I think we need to.” Suddenly chilled, Ass became aware of the wet clothes clinging to his body. “Actually, I should probably get out of these clothes first.” He said. Then he turned to Ben and looked into his eyes. “Did you grab my stuff out of the room?” He asked. “Yeah.” Ben replied. “Thanks, dude.” Ass said in a very warm tone. Both of them knew that the thank you was for far more than Ben looking after his stuff. The thank you was for forcing the issue and making Ass think about it. “Do you mind a bumpy shower?” Schnieder asked. “We need to get on the road or we’ll e late for tonight’s gig.” “I’m cool with that.” Ass said and quickly disappeared to the back of the bus. Schnieder got up and descended the steps. Quickly, he went to work packing all the bands gear into the bus. Ronnie turned his attention to Ben. It wasn’t surprising that he hadn’t spoken, he rarely ever did. But this was different. Ronnie could tell that he had been just as shocked as the others when Ass said they were in love. At first Ronnie only thought he saw it. But as he continued to look at Ben, he knew he was right. Ben was smiling. It was a barely detectable Ben smile, but it was definitely a smile. Ronnie walked over to him and threw his arm over his shoulder. “You all right?” He asked. “You okay talking about this.” “Yeah, I’m cool.” Ben replied. Schnieder packed up the bus and returned to the driver seat. “Tell Ass to hold on, we’re moving out.” He called back to no one in particular. Closing the door, he pressed down on the clutch and shifted the bus into gear. Soon they were on the highway headed west. The three band mates were seated in the couches installed just behind the driver seat. No one said anything. It seemed too important than to talk about anything other than the huge issue in front of them. Not even Pete could think of anything to say. After a few uncomfortable miles, Ass rejoined the group. He sat down next to Ben and put his arm around his shoulder. “So, where do you wanna start?” Ass started. “Uh, I don’t know.” Pete said. “Maybe you could start with … I … dunno … What the fuck is going on with you two? – maybe.” “Well, Pete.” Ass started. “We’re not to sure ourselves. Well…I guess that we all knew how Ben felt. But I had no idea how I felt.” Ass paused with a very thoughtful expression. “That’s not exactly true.” He continued. “I’ve probably known for a while but I would not allow myself to acknowledge my feelings. You know…it’s a little…uh…sorry Ben.” He said as he looked at his friend. “But it’s kinda weird to admit that you actually love another man.” “Tell me about, Ass.” Ben said with a smirk. “Try doing it when you are thirteen.” “Never thought of that.” Ass said. They took a moment to exchange a knowing look. “Hey, don’t mean to break up the moment.” Pete said. “But can we get back to what the hell is going on?” “Yeah, sure.” Ass continued. “So this morning. Ben and I wake up like any other morning. Only today he makes fun of the master.” “Ah the master.” Pete and Ronnie said simultaneously. The tone of their voices made Ass wince noticeably. Then he exhaled. After all, it was that exact statement from Ben that led them to this point. “Right, that’s pretty much what Ben said.” Ass responded as he held up his hand to preempt their apologies. “Anyway, I said something like ‘You know how I feel about the master” “Hang a sec, dude.” Pete said. “I need a beer. Anyone else?” Everyone responded in the affirmative, even Schnieder. “Fuck off, Schnieder.” Pete responded. “You’re driving.” “So?” Schnieder questioned only half-joking. “You can have one of Ronnie’s.” Pete responded. “Fuck that beer-flavored water, bullshit.” Schnieder protested Pete stood up and negotiated his way the the refrigerator. He retrieved three beers and a O’Douls. As he was distributing them, Ass continued. “So, Ben says ‘That’s why I love you’. And I’m like – ‘dude.’.” he said as he opened his can of beer. “Usually, Ben lets it drop. But not this morning.” “Really?” Ronnie asked astonished. “Yeah, he’s like. ‘Ass, at least I’m honest and I admit I love you’. I’m all ‘What?’ He says, ‘You love me’. I start denying it. Then he just rocked my world. He said ‘Ass when was the last time you went on a date with a woman.” “Damn, Ben.” Pete started. “Never knew you had it in ya.” Ben simply smiled. It’s all he could do. The last half hour of Ben’s life was the best he had ever had. He was doing all he could to enjoy the moment. “That’s when I went running.” Ass started to summarize. “It took me almost the whole time to come to terms with the fact that I love a man. I mean …” Turning to Ben, Ass looked him right in the eye and said. “I love you, Ben. And not like in the buddy kinda way – actual love.” “Holy fuck.” Pete said to Ass as he nodded towards Ben. “Go ahead give him a smooch.” “For Christ sake.” Ronnie started but again Ass stopped him. “That brings us to our problem.” Ass explained. “I have no problem acknowledging my love for Ben, but I really don’t know if I can get past the sex thing. I mean…I kinda assumed I would make love with the person I love, but now I realize I love another guy.” “That’s messed.” Pete said. “How the…what is…” Pete just let his words drop off. No one knew what to say. “I seen it happen in ‘Nam.” Schnieder said. “Guys would be buddies and really they acted like couples. Some of ‘em fucked around and some of ‘em didn’t. But I always thought it was the sharing a foxhole thing. Never knew it could happen to anyone. “Yeah, me neither.” Ass started. “Well, that’s where were at. Don’t know how things are going to go.” Ass removed his arm from around Ben’s shoulder and place his hand on his thigh. “I guess you and I need to talk this through, huh?” Ass asked. “Yeah.” Ben replied as he slid his hand on to Ass’ and gave it a squeeze. ------------------------------------------------------------------ The two detectives were completely dumbfounded. They had been interrogating the guy for eight hours and they didn’t even have his name. Taking a moment away from the questioning, they sat at their desks sipping coffee. “You believe him, Bill?” Roger asked breaking the silence. “Huh.” Bill replied. “Do you? Guy kills two people on the street in broad daylight with his bare hands. He can’t remember anything not even his name. The only thing we’ve been able to get out of him is that he was in Saigon last night.” The two men just looked at each other. “Wonder when the shrink is going to get here?” Roger said as he took a quick glance over his shoulder. “Speaking of the Devil.” “Right on cue.” Dr. Monroe Peters said as he strode confidently into the room. “Hear you boys have an interesting case for me.” “Yeah, got a nut job that killed a cop and a bystander for no apparent reason.” Roger reported. “Says he can’t remember his name and that he was in Saigon yesterday. Seems a little far- fetched.” “Hmmm…sounds like this could be a case of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.” Dr. Peters said. “Post stress syn….” Bill started. “What?” “We have been seeing a lot of this with the guys coming back from Vietnam.” Dr. Peters explained. “We use to refer to it as ‘shell shock’. But it is even more than that. These guys saw so much and they just couldn’t handle it.” “So they turn violent?” Roger asked inquisitively “Well, sometimes.” Dr. Peters continued. “Symptoms can range from sleeplessness to night terrors to flashbacks to extreme violence.” “That’s bullshit.” Bill interjected. “Rog and I both slugged it out over there. I don’t mean none of that Saigon Charlie bull. We were in the shit and we didn’t come back half-crazed killers.” Dr. Peters paused and considered Bills outburst. He had heard it frequently and not just from “regular” people, but from his colleagues as well. It was going to be an uphill battle, but he knew deep down that he and the others that recognized the problem would eventually convince people that this was real and these boys would get the help they needed. “Look, Bill.” Dr. Peters said soothingly. “We all deal with stress and trauma in different ways. Some of us have better coping skills.” “Horse shit.” Bill started. “Bill, easy man.” Roger interjected. “The doc’s here to talk to the nut job … uh … the suspect. Let’s let him do his job. All right?” “All right, but don’t expect me to go along with the touchy, feely bullshit.” Bill stated emphatically. “The guy is a cold-blooded killer and a cop killer at that.” The doctor decided to ignore Bill’s matter-of-fact statement. He knew it was going to take time to convince people and this was neither the time or place to start. Right now, his job was to get inside this guys head and see what was happening in there. “Can I see the suspect?” Dr. Peters asked. “Sure.” Roger replied. “This way.” Without looking back at Bill, Dr. Peters fell in step behind Roger. “He’s nothing but a lousy cop killer.” Bill shouted after them. “Sorry, Doc. I know you have a job to do.” Roger apologized. “Bill gets a little wound up, especially when we have a dead cop on our hands.” “I understand, really.” Dr. Peters replied. Dr. Peters interviewed the man for over three hours that. The only thing he could get from the man was that he was sure that he was still in Vietnam and that the “evil” was out there waiting for him. After a week of interviews, Dr. Peters had not made any progress. He wanted to help the man, but unfortunately his illness was too profound. The was only one alternative. “This man is going to spend the rest of his life in a psychiatric facility.” He told the police. “I will start the paperwork.” Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin Copyright (c) 2006 Paul Gavin. All rights reserved.