Incoherent Ramblings

Garbage, I say. Garbage, garbage, grabage. I sit down to write and all that comes out is gar-bage. What is happening? This is quite a conundrum. As you all know, I am one of the most talented, creative bloggers you have ever read. My email campaigns to Mark Cuban (oops, I promised him I'd never mention his name in a post on my blog again - screw it), David Lettermen, Keith Olhbermen, Howard Stern, Neil Young and Kurt Vonnegut are funny, creative and witty - if I don't say so my self. Additionally, my blog jousting with Cheesmo is legendary. Now, I got nothing, nada, zero, zip. To quote Sammy Hagar in one of his best songs made famous by none other than Rick Sprinfield. There's 10 Blog Explosion credits to the first person that correctly names the song in the comments. Hell, I'l give 10 Blog Explosion credits to any cretin that leaves a comment. What does it take to get readers to comment anyway? I'm serious about this. I am half tempted to join the crowd of bloggers that participate in HNT just to get some comments telling me to please quit posting pictures of myself. I know that none of you want to see me half naked, but I just might do it. Unless I start getting some comments, I am going to start posting some of the most hideous pictures ever displayed in the blogosphere. Don't make me do it. One would think I could come up with something. I can't be out of material after just six months of blogging, could I? In over three hundred posts, I have written some pretty good stuff. Even when I thought I was out before, all I had to do was sit down and start typing and something at least mildly amusing would come out. But now your stuck reading this drivel. I am not worthy of being called a blogger anymore. Pretty soon, I will probably get a message from the IBCC telling me I have been stripped of my credentials as a blogger unless I come up with some pretty interesting stuff. As you know, my relationship with the commisar of the IBCC is as about as friendly as Mark Cuban's (uh-oh, twice in one post) and David Stern's. Only the Maverick from Texas can afford a $250,000 fine whereas I can't handle a $2.50 fine. By the way, have I ever told you that I am a cheap son-of-a-bitch. Seriously, I won't even spend the $12.00 it takes to read the emails from my friends on classmates.com. I won't spend another dime on blogger tools - remember when I used to talk about all the stuff available to increase traffic to blogs? Cheesmo broke me of that habit. Finally! I have been sitting here writing for a half hour and I just thought of something. Have any of you surfed around blogs and come across the women's blogs that talk about sex? There are a ton of them out there. If you haven't seen them, I'll give you a brief description. In the guise of "exploring" their sexuality, the women talk very graphically about their sex lives. They describe in the most minute detail the things they do with partners or by themselves. Some of them even post pictures (I just skip over those). I find the posts incredible funny. Why, you ask? Mainly because I think of what it would be like to see a male version of one of these sites. For some reason, people seem to find it fasinating what women do in the bedroom. But think about what you would think if you ran across a blog of a guy describing in gory detail what he did when he was alone and bored. Sexy? I don't think so. Most people would be increbibly offended and the poor bastard would be branded a pervert. How's that for a double standard? All right, that's it for tonight. Maybe I'll come up with something better tomorrow. But remember, you better leave some comments or next Thursday you could be subjected to the most horrendous display to ever affront your eyeballs. Or maybe I'll turn this into a male version of a sexual exploration blog. Don't risk it, leave comments. More stories from Paul Gavin. Info on novels Paul Gavin's Storefront. Technorati Tags: Fiction, Online Book, Chapter, Rebeleyeball, Paul Gavin IceRocket Tags: Fiction, Blook, Chapter, rebeleyeball